Hold Those Positions Men

by Brendon on April 29, 2009

Evening Men

The time draws ever closer.

Hold those positions.  No sudden movements.
Move out into position at approximately 0500 HRS.

Make appropriate noises to wives:

* “Gee, I don’t really want to go with these guys.  I think I’d prefer to stay home with you darling.”
* “I’m really going to miss you darling (cry if able)…….I’m only going so I can see the scenery of Tasmania.”
* “I’d pull out of this trip but I’ve booked and paid and you’ll get my frequent flier points for your next trip.”
* “I’ll ring you and the kids every night.  Probably 3 times a day.” (This is a beauty, because you can later blame crappy phone reception in Tasmania when you don’t call at all.)

The Queensland platoon is to meet at approximately 0525 HRS at Coolangatta Airport.
Flyboy will be flying a Blackhawk down to Tasmania.

Latest updates


Fucking cold.
Really, really fucking cold.
We’re aiming to ride up the mountain tomorrow, but this may not be possible because of, you guessed it, fucking snow!

Lift from Airport

Our lift says he will probably be too busy to give us a lift tomorrow.  Prick!

Word is he’s a little over-awed having 6 bikies in his car and has bailed.
The cab fare will be approximately $30 from the airport to the bikes, so you’re up for about $10 cab fare each if he doesn’t show.

(Note: the cab fare in a maxi taxi from the Airport to pick up the bikes was $55.  A cab from the airport to the middle of Hobart is $45.)

Good luck, keep safe and for God’s sake, look sad for 10 seconds when you say goodbye to your wife.

I look forward to leading you men on this mission of bikes, booze, Yak fat initiations and much, much more.


Captain Golden Knob

Morning men

As you are well aware, Operation Wife Escape commences on Thursday 30 April at 0610 HRS from Coolangatta Airport.

Those of us flying Jetstar, please be aware they’re a pedantic bunch of fuckers who insist on you checking in at least 30 minutes prior to departure.
“…..you must check-in for Domestic flights at least 30 minutes before the scheduled departure.”

If you are 1 second late you’re fucked and your ticket to freedom………errrrrr, Tasmania will be taken from you.

I have spoken with Ian at Moto Adventure and he is expecting us anytime between 1115 HRS and 1215 HRS.

He was going to be away and have a mate handover the bikes but I think Flyboy’s reputation has proceeded him and Ian wants to meet that crazy Yak-fat toting son of a bitch.

Most of us have some gear and Ian has plenty.  I reckon we’re going to be spot on.

270 Km Ride Almost Killed Older Lads

Also, Poss and Flyboy: Please be aware that the rest of us did a long (270 km) ride on Friday.
By the end of that ride we were all walking around like a bunch of crippled old men.

It was discussed that our rides in Hobart might be best to be of shorter duration to ensure the older members of the group:

  • Birdman,
  • Riley,
  • Poss,
  • Crazy Mad Doc and
  • Flyboy

can cope with the physical demands.

I’ll be just fine thanks because I’m the youngest by far.

Not long now men. Check those weapons and keep the safety on for just a bit longer.
At ease!


Captain Golden Knob

Oooooh, It’s Gonna Be Cold!

by Brendon on February 26, 2009

Evening Gentlemen

One of the considerations in undertaking a motorcycle tour of Tasmania is, as you would be well aware, that the temperature in this southern isle is not what us fine Queensland and NSW men are used to.

Oooooh, It’s Gonna Be Cold!

In early May in Tasmania the temperature averages (minimum and maximum) are 6 and 15.

To provide some background to that, the average temperatures on the Gold Coast in May are 15.4 (minimum) and 23.4 (maximum).
Flyboy, in Sydney it’s 11.3 and 20.9.

Tasmania has less rainfall in May than the Gold Coast and less days that rain (4.6 compared to 8.7).

My scientific conclusion from all this lads is that it’s going to be fucking cold.

Rule Suggestion

I’d like to suggest a rule here.  Not sure if Flyboy will like it but I’ll take the chance:

Rule suggestion:  No matter how very cold it gets, no matter that someone or some people may die as a result of exposure (to the elements), there is to be no ‘body warmth’ hugs/bed sharing between the men.

In view of the cooler conditions, Ian (he’s hiring us the bikes) has sent through a list of all of the gear he has.

As you will see in the attachment, it’s quite comprehensive with a range of sizes.
However, he can’t guarantee everyone will be able to be fitted out in appropriate gear.  We’ve hired his entire fleet so all the gear should be there.

Looking at what he has, we’ll go close to being right.

In terms of wet weather gear, there will only be a 1 in 8 chance of getting rained on and we can simply get out of the rain and wait it out.  He hasn’t got a ton of wet weather gear by the looks, but we should be okay.

Ian does not supply boots.

Where To Direct Questions

Any questions men?  If yes, please ask your wives as she might give a fuck.  I don’t.
Now stop reading your emails and surfing porn on the Internet and get some bloody work done!

Golden Knob

Itinerary Issues

by Brendon on January 9, 2009


As I’m doing this itinerary I’m seeing that we’re running out of time.

I’ll post some general itinerary ideas here in terms of where we’ll go, rather than what we’ll do just so we have the basis for some sort of time frame.

Riley has purchased the Lonely Planet guide to Tassie so will have some ideas.  Anyone else please feel free to put your 2 cents worth in.

Day 1:  Thursday April 30 – Arrive in Hobart, pick up bikes and get settled.

Day 2:  Friday May 1 – Hobart to Huon to Hobart.  Easy 152 kms getting used to the bikes and seeing some nice scenery.  We end back in Hobart.

Day 3:  Saturday May 2 – Hobart – Port Arthur.  Worth a good look around down here.

Day 4:  Sunday May 3 – Port Arthur to Orford (East Coast). I’m thinking we might need to ride further and get up to Scamander or even Scottsdale. Must see is Coles Bay and Freycinet National Park.

Day 5:  Monday May 4 – Scamander through Launceston to Burnie.  Must see is the Gorge in Launceston.  Might be a few wineries to explore along the Tamar River near Launceston.

Day 6:  Tuesday May 5 – Burnie down to Strahan at Macquarie Harbour (West Coast).  Maybe do a river cruise.

Day 7:  Wednesday May 6 – Strahan to Cradle Mountain and down to Lake Pedder.

Day 8:  Thursday May 7 – Cradle Mountain down to Lake Pedder and out into New Norfolk (30 or so kms out of Hobart).

Day 9:  Friday May 8 – This is the day we take the bikes back so we might like to have a ride up the countryside through the middle of Tassie and get back to Hobart that way.

As I say, just ideas.

Check out Google Maps to give you some idea of the places.

Irish Pubs Not Neglected

by Brendon on December 17, 2008

There are numerous Irish pubs in Hobart.

To this end we have added a delightful Irish lass pouring Flyboy a well earned Guinness to the photos that rotate on the right.

If you don’t see her as yet, refresh the page.



2 Days Itineraries Added

by Brendon on December 11, 2008

Is that even how you spell “Itineraries”??

Anyway……I’ve done 2 days.

Just suggestions, a map is included on Day 2.


Golden Knob

van Hoof Goes Limp, Aneek Joins Him

by Brendon on December 9, 2008

Sensational news just to hand – invitee Chris van Hoof has confirmed that he will be unable is not allowed to make the Tassie Ride.

On behalf of all confirmed riders – Chris, grow a pair!

News just in – 8.44pm – Aneek Mollah has also made himself unavailable.  He gave me 72 excuses:

  • The Sydney to Surfers ride is on
  • He’s going to Bangladesh
  • Hasn’t go a motorbike license
  • Etc

Aneek was very keen to be involved.  Something about not being the shortest and thanks Poss.  Or something like that!

Bike Hire Details – He Supplies Gear Too

by Brendon on December 8, 2008

Insurance Excess $2,500 for experienced or $3,500 for inexperienced.
Deposit 25% at time of booking.
Balance due by credit card swipe at the time of setting out.
Gear Helmet, Jacket, Pants and Gloves included in the price.

Full bike hire details here.

Brendon is organising the hire so no need to contact the guy (Ian) yourself.

Tasmanian Motorcycle Tour – The Great Escape 2

by Brendon on December 8, 2008

Hello Gentlemen

Here’s the plan:

1.  Fly to Hobart late April – perhaps Thursday April 30, 2008 or Friday 1 May, 2008.

2.  Hire motorbikes from this place

Now in Tassie if you’ve held your license for less than a year (i.e. Me and Poss at least) you can ride what’s called a LAMS bike – which is a power to weight scheme.  Full info here.

3.  Ride around Tassie for 8 or so days.

4.  Return the bikes on Friday 8 May.

5.  Spend the rest of Friday and all day Saturday cavorting in Hobart, playing golf, going to the races, punting, drinking, etc.

6.  Fly home on Sunday 10th.  That gives us 11 days away, missing 7 work days.

Places to see:

  • Hobart
  • Port Arthur
  • Huon Valley
  • Cradle Mountain
  • Queenstown and Strahan (West Coast)
  • Coles Bay, Wineglass Bay
  • Launceston
  • Lake Pedder

Approximate costs

Flights: will be about $300 return (most is usually $320 return)
Bike hire: 8 days @ about $140 day: $1,120
Accommodation: No fucking camping allowed!!  It would be about $60 a night on average I reckon. $600
Food and drink: No idea, although I will be eating like a King and drinking like a fish.